Like the great state of Georgia or Snoop’s musings on money, recruitment is perpetually on my mind. In between Sean’s fast approaching nuptials, Greenhithe’s latest outbreak, and Liverpool’s floodlight robbery we’ve been talking all things recruitment this week here at Rice HQ. Usually, the blog is created by a subject that’s fleshed out but with Halloween on the horizon I’ve taken my inspiration from Frankenstein, sewing together different bits of flesh to make a fully formed blog creation. Much like when someone nasally points out “Um actually Frankenstein is the name of the doctor, not the monster” the following are points have inspired semi eye rolls. Points that many people may not be aware, are doing them a disservice. Although totally subjective, I like to think other recruiters might agree.

Intro/Outro messages on LinkedIn

LinkedIn brazenly tells us that “Members are more likely to accept invitations that include a personal note” I call bullsh*t. Personally, I think they can do more damage than good. There’s a chance that you can sound needy/annoying/cliché before you’ve even had the chance to connect. Another gear grinder is when people sign off with their name in a LinkedIn message!? I know who you are. Unless you’ve been hacked mid convo, I can safely assume the person typing is the person in the profile picture, the one next to where it says your name.

Silly job titles

Dream Weaver, Trouble Maker, Hens’ Teeth Finder, Unicorn Hunter. You’re a recruiter! To be honest I even feel ‘technologist’ has a hint of sandwich artist about it. I get it, different companies use different terms; an associate in a law firm is not the same as an associate in a recruitment agency. But we can agree on chucking director in front of a role title only serves to inflate the ego of the person taking the role. It always reminds me of Homer deciding on his title for Compu Global Hyper Mega-net when people are deciding on their title.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yemjuMX_x5U

#open to work

It’s easy to get swept up in the Kia Kaha, rainbow, or French flags on social media and think that applying this to your LinkedIn profile is a good idea. I think the theory is that hiring managers upon logging into LinkedIn can quickly see who is employed and who isn’t. Making the hiring managers’ life easier but is it advantageous to the would-be employed? I wonder if the hashtag was #unemployed would we have seen as many people make the switch? A recent recipient of redundancy in a recession you have to imagine is very much open to work and a great indicator of this is being active on LinkedIn and there being an end date on your recent occupation?

Recruitment Websites

Every new wave of recruiters that hit our shores subtly raises the bar in terms of aesthetics expected for your website. Having lived a lot of their lives via the ‘interweb’ the younger recruitment consultant is more judgemental of an agency’s online presence and easily deduces; if the website is old and stuffy chances are the physical office/culture will be. Industry and size don’t seem to have a bearing; I’ve seen one-man bands with slick interfaces and solid UX while IT specialists think it’s acceptable to host dormant landing pages with “coming soon” blasted everywhere. If I take a look at my own niche little industry; one competitor has opted for a Facebook page and the others is reminiscent of Space Jams promotional page

Things recruiters say

I don’t know who needs to hear this but, saying “look” at the beginning of whatever your saying doesn’t make it anymore profound. If during your feedback, from client or candidate anything is described as “interesting” just file that under sh*t. If you are about to utter the phrase “ready for your next adventure” take a step back and realize that however charming you think that sounds the legitimacy of this adventure-seeking is undermined, usually due to your current adventure coming to an impromptu and abrupt end. ANYTHING IN THIRD PERSON. CV’s that sound they’re narrated by Morgan Freeman detailing Red’s first impression of Andy Dufresne taking his first steps into Shawshank. Even the soliloquy akin to an episode of The Wonder Years; “I stopped and I said to myself, (insert name) do you really ‘want’ this role?” is a tad pompous.

 

To any and all recruiters/job seekers I may have offended during the process of this blog don’t worry. This probably isn’t the view of the industry at large, more likely just the thoughts of three grumpy Brits who have a penchant for moaning. Feel free to reach out to our Sean and wish him all the best for his wedding on Tuesday! All are welcome, BYO! 🤵👰

 

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