My wife is currently pregnant. We don’t know if it’s a boy or girl or a they, and won’t do until the little mite makes an appearance in February. We prefer it that way. Someone asked me the other week what the most important advice I’ll impart on my child will be. My answer was this: Get in the habit of removing your socks before your trousers. Wearing jeans and no socks looks cool. Being naked from the waist down with socks still on does not. One day, he, she, or they, will probably undress in front of another he, she, or they, and they’ll thank me for the life lesson. The lesson to this lesson? Do not look to me for lessons. Regular readers will already know this.

LinkedIn of course, is full of advice. Some of it is from people with a level of expertise in their field. Some not so much. As New Zealand is thrust back into lockdown, all channels seem full of people with advice on surviving the Delta Blues (one of mine, ithankyou). Given the limit of my parental guidance is how to not look stupid with a boner, I struggled this week to add anything of value to the canon.

I can’t give advice on mental health. I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist (not that this stops people on Instagram). I have never struggled in this arena. I don’t feel anxious about Covid, I’m not depressed, and have found that in the most part, people who say “#BeKind” incessantly are anything but. Unpopular as it may sound, I feel that too much mental health resource is taken up by stroppy teenagers, meaning those who are genuinely struggling get lost in the noise. My Grandad was forced to drop bombs on the babies of Dresden at 19, not sit at home playing Zelda for a few weeks. So no, I can’t advise on this stuff.

I can’t give advice on staying healthy during lockdown. I weighed myself at the gym on Monday, and for the first time in my life, I broke the 100kg mark. I put this feat down to lifting some weights, doing almost zero cardio, and stuffing my body full of as much rich food, craft beer, and red wine as possible. In the words of Rupert Holmes, “I’m not much into health food, I am into champagne”. So nope, can’t help there either.

I can’t give advice on how to support your clients with generic emails. Popular amongst real estate agents and anyone trying to sell you shit, I have never sent out a mailmerged email offering my “support” to clients during difficult times. Unless this support involves no-questions-asked cash donations, I’m not really sure what the good people of Ray White New Lynn can offer me. I am at a loss on this topic.

I’m of little use at advising you on how to support candidates going through uncertainty. Mixed in with all the nonsense, I actually have some good traits, but as those who have worked with me will attest, I’m not the best with sympathy. Not that I don’t think it’s deserving, I just don’t like receiving it, and am crap at dishing it out. Last time I tried to offer some kind words to a failed recruiter during Lockdown 1, she publicly called me a “douchebag” on the infamous Cassie Roma debacle (a douchebag, but not a failed recruiter though right?). So even when I do try, I get this majorly wrong.

So there is only one piece of advice I can offer with any degree of confidence right now, and it is to the hiring managers of New Zealand…

DO NOT STOP HIRING.

Remember Lockdown 1? Remember how we all retreated into our caves? The idea of offering someone a job who wasn’t delivering groceries seemed crazy. Loads of people lost their jobs and all we could envisage was a global recession lasting 200 years. Now remember last week. I don’t think any of us Recruiters have witnessed such a “talent-short” market. Contractors doubling their hourly rate. Vacancies sitting vacant for months on end. Our agency clients screaming out for recruiters, keen to hire anyone with a pulse who can pick up a phone and not eat crayons. And yet, I already see hiring managers taking their foot of the gas. That great candidate you were due to interview getting pushed back to next week to “when we know more”. Well I’ll tell you what more there is to know: We will come back to work, the borders will remain closed, there’ll be 4% unemployment, and you’ll regret not hiring that great candidate when you had the chance.

That’s it from me folks. Stay home, get tested, and remember – if you do have Covid, we’re all going to judge you on your gross eating and shopping habits.

^SW

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